After 10 years of marriage to former NFL player Andrew East, Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson East is reflecting on what she’s learned.
“I think being 10 years into this, we both have a very healthy understanding that marriage is messy and it’s hard,” Shawn said on an episode of the couple’s podcast.
“All the movies like to paint marriage as like if it’s not sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time, then it’s the wrong one. That’s not true,” she explained. “Marriage gets more and more beautiful with the pain.”
But, she added, “I do think preserving a small part of the fairy tale is also beautiful.
“Rather than realistically keeping life just black and white all the time — I will let you down, you don’t actually need me — there is a beauty that I think is worth preserving, which I will always try,” Shawn continued. “I do need you because you’re my wife, or I do need you because you’re my husband, and I will always be considering you and like try to make you smile. I think there is a beauty to that that should be preserved.”
Related: Shawn Johnson East Prioritizes Marriage While Raising Toddlers
In another episode of their podcast, the couple tackled common misconceptions about marriage.
“We’ve been thinking a lot about what society thinks about marriage and how there are so many common misconceptions about it,” Andrew said. “Honestly, I feel like it’s kind of a bummer. There are challenges with marriages, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be shied away from.”
“Yes, your spouse will change,” Shawn reflected. “They will go through phases of life where they are completely different than the person you married, but that’s also part of the adventure of life: going through these ups and downs and falling back in love with each one of those people.”
Andrew added that these specific conversations can benefit the family and relationship as a whole.
“I just think…if you’re able to do family well, then I think society benefits,” he explained. “If you can have hard conversations and challenging conversations in the family and maintain an aspect of empathy and love, then it has ripple effects throughout society.”
After 10 years together, Shawn and Andrew’s message is refreshingly honest: marriage isn’t about avoiding the hard parts but about growing through them together. For the couple, the goal isn’t a relationship free of struggle, but one where both partners keep choosing each other through every version of themselves that emerges over the years.
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